I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
