belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
