Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Houston, we have a blender
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
