i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
