fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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