yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
