I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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