Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
