so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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