ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
