I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
