Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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