She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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