Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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