Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
