I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
