speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
