You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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