Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
