I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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