i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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