we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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