is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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