drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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