clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
