well you can't waste a boner
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
