I think im going to throw up on grandma
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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