Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
