filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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