Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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