Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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