no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
