Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
