the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just pee around me
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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