This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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