he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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