And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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