she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
