Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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