Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
