whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
