she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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