two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
