just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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