AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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