I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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