i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
