I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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