so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
