I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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