She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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