who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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