don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
