What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
