Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
These tits shall not be calmed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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