dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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