I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
