Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
