first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
