well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize