i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize