I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
