remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
